Megan’s World

Wow, I’ve been lazy. I haven’t written on here in two months and plenty has been going on in that time.

Where to start… well, let’s see. She is now able to stand, unassisted on her own. She hasn’t been able to walk but she did take her official first step albeit a shaky one. She’s cruising along quite well by crawling and using the furniture to move but she has not mastered walking yet. I think March is going to be her month to start.

She’s also begun to get quite the sense of humour. She’s doing a lot of laughing and playing and has decided that her blanket is her favorite “security” item.

Along with her movement and laughter, she’s now taking a much closer notice as to what Dylan is up to. She follows him, as much as she can, where he goes, and many times will get behind him and try to tickle him. It’s actually quite funny. Dylan is still learning to share but he is doing MUCH better and in fact is giving her hugs and helping her play sometimes. I can just see how close these two are going to be when they get older.

I can actually say that I like her now. I was not her biggest fan during my time off work but she’s definitely come out of that phase now and is having a blast. I can’t wait to see her walking and then running after her brother. It will be entertaining.

It’s been awhile since my last post so I thought I would give a quick update.

Megan has really come around. Her personality is starting to show and she’s smiling and laughing and making all kinds of noise and the occasional gaga / dada / mama comes out. Over the Christmas holidays she learned how to sit up from her crawling position and even pull herself up onto her feet in her crib. She’ll be walking in no time.

It’s also interesting to see how now she can sit in the living room with Dylan and keep herself somewhat occupied. Last night me and Tamara finished eating while the two kids played in the living room. It was nice.

She’s starting to play a little bit with stuff around her but she seems more interested in Dylan’s toys than her own. This of course annoys Dylan to no end but he is slowly learning that he needs to share. It’s going to be interesting to see how this plays out especially when she starts walking because she is going to want to follow him EVERYWHERE! I imagine me and Tamara will have to put out a few fires with that. It will be interesting to see…

It’s not very often that you get the opportunity to actually take a photo of something as it is happening for the very first time.

This picture was taken on November 7th, 2009 and was snapped literally seconds after Megan crawled forward for the very first time. Tamara was away for the weekend and I was taking care of both kids. Dylan was asleep and I was hanging out with Megan in the living room and she was just laying on the floor going in circles like she has been recently. Then much to my surprise I watched as she used her hands to pull herself forward and she “crawled” three steps. I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture.

Now she’s moving like crazy. She’s got the whole crawling thing down pat and is hauling herself pretty much anywhere she can move. She typically sees something she wants to play with or grab so she works her way towards it with very little effort.

It has however become a bit of an issue for Dylan since he is now seeing how she is going after some of his toys and he is definitely protesting. Regardless, it’s pretty cool to see some big time progress with her.

Ahhh my little girl is finally getting better.

Over the course of the last six months, I have learned in vivid detail what it is like for women who take a year off work to take care of the children. Let me tell you, I have more compassion and sympathy for these women than I ever did before after having gone through my time this year with Megan. The sleepless nights, crying, fussiness, and everything else is very hard to deal with. I have been pushed to the limits several times.

This morning however it became quite clear that things are in fact getting better. Tamara went off to drop Dylan at the sitter’s and I was home with Megan. She was content for a little while but then began to get a bit cranky. Knowing that she was probably due for a little snooze, I took her into her room, laid her in her crib, and I haven’t heard a peep from her since. This was a very good sign that for one, I’m starting to know her better and two, she’s starting to chill out a bit.

I believe it was Tamara who said that perhaps I should have taken the latter six months off instead of the first. Perhaps as I would have enjoyed the time more, but I am content to know that I spent the first six months of my daughter’s life with her and not at work.

I quote you from a comment she made on my status on Facebook:

See, it’s always nice when you happen to get the difficult ones first, then when the ones who are easy to deal with come along, you really appreciate it :/

Today I had another hard day. In fact, I think both me and Tamara had a hard day with Megan. It’s been a little frustrating. Some of what I am about to say may sound very mean but I am getting something off my chest in writing as I always do.

The fact is, since Megan’s birth, she has been a crier. I didn’t remember all of the crying and fussing Dylan did because I was at work. Tamara kept telling me that Dylan did all of the same things and I kept thinking if he had, I would have never agreed to have another kid. She also said that over time, it would get better. Well, in some ways it has and in other ways it has gotten a bit worse.

See, Megan cries a lot. I used to think she was colic but based on what I have read and now know, she’s not that. Sometimes the crying is normal. You know when she needs fed, changed, tired, etc. But then there’s what we see a lot of. Cranky crying. She basically can only sit or lay or whatever in a single position for no more than about 10-15 minutes. You can pretty much guarantee that if you put her in the car and she was crying beforehand, she’ll be crying the whole time you drive. When she does go to sleep during the day, she sleeps for 20-30 minutes tops, then wakes up and then the crying starts.

Now, it’s not non-stop. From what I know of colic, that’s complete and total inconsolable crying for hours upon hours. She stops depending on how you hold her or how you interact but it doesn’t last. After awhile, the crying gets to me. In fact, most of the time I have a VERY hard time just blocking it out. If there was something I could do to HELP her it would be one thing, but when she cries for the sake of crying, it gets to me.

The second piece of the puzzle is that she pukes, a LOT. Not spit up. Puke. She has full on throw up about 20 times a day and that is not an exaggeration. Within a couple of hours this morning she had already thrown up (milky chunk throw up, not just liquid) about five times. This causes endless frustrations with me and Tamara because you can’t put any clothes on her because within minutes it seems, she pukes all over it. She also seems to make sure that she holds onto her puke until she’s been put in her carseat. At first it was funny but when it happens pretty much everytime, it gets old. That combined with the crying in the car, would YOU want to put her in a carseat and go for a drive?

All of this happening most of the time drains the energy out of both me and Tamara. We relish the time when she finally goes to sleep which is one thing she seems to be doing well. When she goes to bed, she’s pretty much in bed for the night. She might squawk once during the night but she is pretty much sleeping through now. That’s the other oddity about the puking. She doesn’t do it on her last feeding before bedtime and if she eats during the night, there’s no puking.

This has made it VERY difficult to actually enjoy any of the good moments we get with her when they do happen. When she’s constantly crying there are horrible thoughts that go through your mind that you can’t even imagine that you would be thinking. You just want the crying to stop. It’s only the fact that deep down inside somewhere you know that she’s just a baby, and that at some point in time, it will get better.

I love my daughter, and I will do anything I can to help her, but I am not enjoying any of the time I am having with her right now. When you get 100 pounds of aggravation and one ounce of joy, it is very difficult to see any good at all. I am not a pessimistic person and I see joy in many things but when the crying seems like it is going on forever, I don’t experience any joy. I have had times where we’d be in the car and I am just SO tempted to tell Tamara to stop the car so I can get out and not be anywhere near the “screaming kid”. I have my hand on the door ready to say it but I don’t. I don’t because then I would be giving up and passing the burden on to Tamara. By burden I mean the burden of dealing with the crying alone. We’re both the parents of Megan and we both will take care of her. If that means I have to spend another 6 months going through this, then so be it. I may not have any sanity left but I’ll still be here.

I can take some comfort in the stories I hear from other parents. Just today I heard one about how this one woman’s son cried and cried and cried and the only way to shut him up was to put him in his carseat and swing it. She did that for 9 months. Countless other parents say they have gone through the same thing with their kids. Knowing that others go through the same thing does make it easier to just bite my tongue and be patient. It does not however help in heated moments which is why at least me and Tamara know when we need to step away for a moment. Thankfully, we’re both pretty understanding with each other about it and it seems to have worked well.

So for what Kelly said, I think in some respects where Dylan was a bit easier, it has made going through this with Megan a bit harder. Dylan had his moments and he would cry too but it was nowhere near this bad.

For now, I’ll continue to hold, play, smile, and enjoy the moments I do get with Megan because they do happen and when they happen and relish in them. I’ll be doing my best to remember that it will get better. She’s 8 months away from her first birthday and I can’t imagine this will last that long

Yes folks, she has gone from saying nothing or just crying, to squawking! She’s smiling, laughing, and spending more awake time just paying attention to things around us. It is very nice to finally see her starting to develop a bit of a personality.

We took the kids to the beach today and I had her dipping her legs in the water. She had fun kicking in the water and Tamara had her on her knee playing as well.

The crying has gotten a bit less. She’s not freaking out and crying non-stop all the time now. It is a bit of a relief but the heat right now is not helping the situation. She’s dripping with sweat, like we all are, and I can’t blame her for being frustrated. At least me and Tamara now are getting more used to her.

I spent about 30 minutes rocking her to sleep before Tamara came in and took her and she woke up. Nice to have some father daughter time. I’ve got her to myself all day tomorrow with no Dylan so I’m not sure how well that will go. I’ll keep you posted.

My little girl is finally starting to show signs of growing. She turned over from her belly to her back several times now. In fact, one of the first times, she scared herself by doing it and started crying. I am sure she is going to be going from belly to back anytime. She gets about halfway there but just doesn’t quite go the whole way. It’ll come.

Her baby acne has subsided and she’s doing a lot more smiling now which is really nice. She’s starting making cooing noises as well and kicking her legs. We’ve been trying to give her as much time on the floor as we can as she seems to enjoy it as long as she’s in a good mood.

She still wakes up in the middle of the night which makes it harder for Tamara to get a full night’s sleep but we know that it will pass eventually and it’s just a matter of time and being patient.

I have also learned that she liked heavy metal music. A few weeks back, she was having a really rough evening and it was starting to get to me so I took her into my office and tried holding her while playing some really mellow music and all it seemed to do was make her more mad. So, I put on some really heavy stuff like Korn, Napalm Death, Slayer, etc. Well, within minutes she was quiet and on the verge of sleeping. I tried a test and changed it back to mellow stuff and she woke right up and started crying again. As soon as I put the heavy stuff back on, she stopped crying and went back to being super mellow. Freaking funny. I’m guessing she’ll be the metalhead of the two.

It’s DEFINITELY harder with two kids but now that she’s starting to show a bit of personality, it’s getting better. I can’t wait to see how she turns out

Well, I figure she’s been here for two months, I should do a post. I think about it often, but don’t have a whole lot of time to actually get to it. Who knew babies could keep you so busy.

I can’t believe how fast the past two months have gone by. Megan is growing so quickly. She sure like to eat (too bad more of it doesn’t stay down)! Her appointment for her 2 month needles is on Thursday. I’m not looking forward to that. Who wants to have their little one poked like that. I know she sure is a strong little girl. She pushes herself into a standing position with her feet when I’m holding her. She has been holding her head up for quite a while and she is rolling from belly to back. I don’t know how I can give her proper belly time when all she does is roll over.
She is starting to smile a bit more, but still not as much as I would like. It really lights up her whole face. I have a feeling she is going to be a bit more serious than her brother is.
She is still having cranky evenings. The crying fits are getting less, but they are still there. She is going to bed around 10ish now and she normally sleeps until around 3 when she has 1/2 a feeding cause she’s so tired. Then she’s up again to eat around 5. I forgot how much I dislike the spit up. She’s a good eater, but doesn’t like to burp much. When she burps, it always seems to bring up 1/2 of her meal with it, through her mouth and her nose. Not pleasant. And it takes her breath away. Certainly something for me to ask the Doctor about.
Dylan really likes her. Any time she’s down on the floor playing, he has to go lay beside her or bring her toys to show her. If she’s in her swing, he’s right there pushing her, and if she’s in the cradle, he’s there talking to her. He has a special voice for her. As soon as he sees her, he runs up, says “Hi” and rubs her face. He will take her hand and rub his own face with it. He wants her to do the same thing to him. Very sweet!
They have both taken turns waking each other up, whether it be in the daytime or the nightime. At least it doesn’t happen too ofter.
As for me, I am very exhausted. Lack of sleep is certainly affecting me. I am very emotional, jumpy and holy frack, am I ever forgetful. I think the forgetfullness is the worst. Hey, just yesterday, I locked us out of the house cause I left the keys in here. Thank Goodness Matt was able to get in the front window. Then we went to Mom’s house and I left my set of keys there. I’m scared I’m going to forget her somewhere. I’m always checking the back seat when we are out to make sure she’s still there.
I was really nervouse about having a girl because I didn’t know what to do with a girl. All I can say is that I can’t imagine life without her. I can’t believe how enamoured I became with her right from the start. I am very blessed to have a wonderful little boy and a wonderful little girl. Life is good!

I wish I had more time to post more things… Where to start…

She’s not sleeping through the nights yet but does seem to go down ok come around 11pm. Having a hard time dealing with all the crying. She really does seem to cry a lot and it gets a bit annoying at times. I am sure Dylan did the same thing but still, it can get to be a bit much.

She is starting to smile a bit and her eyes are starting to change colour and lighten up quite a bit. I can’t wait to see what colour they end up.

She seems to like music. Had her in my office with the music blaring and she just layed there and almost feel asleep. I think she actually prefers it when I sing to her and sway with her as well. That is kind of cool.

Tamara is tired and so am I but not as much as her. We had our first night sans Megan last night and it was nice to just go to bed and be done with it. Need to do that more often.

Hope to have more pictures eventually.

I was going to post a photo of Megan but unfortunately all of the pictures are on our network drive which is currently disconnected. I’m hoping to get that up and running again this weekend.

Regardless, the little one is growing. She’s already grown an inch or so and is now past her actual birth weight. She’s starting to have a lot more awake time so she’s got her pretty eyes looking around everywhere. She also likes to poop, a lot.

It’s very interesting to see the differences from what Dylan did as a baby to what she is doing. Kind of hard to explain but she is definitely her own personality. She argues with Tamara’s boobs when she doesn’t get her milk the way she wants and she definitely prefers being held versus laying in her basonette. Makes me wonder how she’s going to turn out.

Her brother is treating her like gold despite his issues with her being in the house. He’s taken to her quite a bit and has decided that she should NEVER have anything covering her. No blankets or anything. Just her. It’s quite amusing.

I will say though that having two kids is not like having one kid. I’ll be posting my own rant on the subject on Bobsroom so feel free to read that. It’s definitely harder being a parent to two versus one.

But that having been said, she’s doing very well and we’re very happy to have her in our family.